i'm so

freaking stubborn. it's unbelievable.

if ever

there was a song written for me...this might be it:




Lifehouse Lyrics
Whatever It Takes Lyrics



*listen to it on projectplaylist.com






ps. MERRY CHRISTMAS

wildflowers

Do you ever feel like you’re lying on your back
In a field of full of wildflowers
Arms spread out like a cross
Watching people pass by at 100 miles an hour
On every side of you
Laughing together and hardly taking notice of anything else
Smile upon your face because you see their happiness
And inside you’re breathing sighs of hope
Just waiting for that one person to pass you
Stop, turn around & come sit with you
Maybe just someone to rest your head upon
Or someone to walk home with?






I feel like I’m waiting for that a lot. I keep waiting for him to turn around. To take my hand & walk me home. No one in particular. Just the inevitable.









God, hold him at night
Let him know I’m on my way

children amaze me

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget."


Jessica - age 8






I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

Lock the doors
Cause I'd like to capture this voice
That came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

And I'll take the truth at any cost
-paramore

A&B

i want my life back. i have no idea where it went.




it's like i'm living someone else's.
maybe one day i'll have it all sorted out.







the hardest part of love isn't loving someone, but having the courage to let them love you back
-the wedding date




i keep listening to this song (stephen christian...no doubt) :


take me down to where you think i belong
you can't rescue me, you ain't that strong
you don't know no better,
i'm not going to tell you any better
can you turn this pale water to wine
if you can do that
i think we'll be fine
but you can't raise a sinner
and it's not me but honesty thats died
blurring lines between love and sin
can't tell where you stop and where i begin
my bodies sending questions to answers you can't give
or can you give
if you throw me a line i'll only drag you in
this ain't new york city and the ice is thin
keep your eyes open up all night
i'd be gone by the moment it strikes daylight
believe in fate but now you think there lies
but i never meant to hurt a soul alive
i'm still searching for what you can't give
the further i wonder the less i know that is
blurring lines between love and sin
can't tell where you stop and where i begin
my bodies sending promises that i cannot keep
well we are blurring lines between love and sin can't tell
where you stop or where i begin
my bodies sending question to answers you can't give
or can you give...

-anchor&braille

Campaign For Real Beauty

welcome to my life & the life of every woman in America. powerful. it makes me want to go out & buy every dove product ever made.



.......it gives me chills evertime i watch it. i'm sure i'll write about it later when i get a little more time.



this one's just kind of cute:





i only wish they would have showed us this a little sooner.






now.....is it too late???





you decide.

My LOVE

Everything Lyrics


I'm doing this paper for my Christian Thought class on the physical death of Jesus Christ....from a medical standpoint since I want to be a doctor.


My heart has caught in my chest about a 100 times & it's hard for me to swallow. I could never even imagine to understand the pain He felt. I'm actually feeling kind of sick now. Almost like I did when I saw The Passion. In the midst of my weeping and my heartbreak......I think I almost died at one point. I wonder what I would have done if I would have been there.

Would I have called out like the rest?
Would I have helped Him carry His cross?
Would I have ashamedly hung my head & not said a word?
Would I have kissed His face?







I keep telling Him I so wasn't worth it.










But He keeps telling me I am.






Hmm. My hero. My LOVE conquered death and the grave so that I might have LIFE. I'm in love.




Hallelujah.

<3

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from You
No more love and no more pride
The thoughts are all I have to do
Oooo..remember when it rained
Felt the ground and looked up high and called Your name
Oooo...remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain

Tears of hope run down my skin
Tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the One within
Let the outside slowly die...

-josh groban



*his voice is like rain on a tinroof. beautiful.

its about time

stephen christian's book is coming out in the spring. no one could be more excited about this than me. i was hoping for it for such a long time. you have no idea. & finally he pulls through.... :) if i had a second i'd take the time to read the 1st chapter...the only part i have access to at the moment.

very soon. very soon. i will set a date with stephen christian's book & a large cup of starbucks chai. i wish i could cut the word BOOK out of that last sentence. ha. what i wouldn't give to sit down with what i consider one of my greatest personal heros & have a cup of chai.







i'm dreaming of the day now.

my new song

by Jon Mclaughlin:



Beautiful Disaster Lyrics







ok i'm know i'm killing it on this jon mclaughlin thing. but he's one of my new and upcoming favorites. sigh...he makes me cry. i wish he was my piano teacher.


Open up the center of my being
There's gotta be some room inside of me
I’m tired of trying to find a way to make it through these endless days

Complacency is not enough for me
Constant thoughts of where I ought to be plague me
How could I be a fool so long when the only way I live at all

You’re loving me
You’re grace is so amazing
You’re loving me

I’ve tried to push distractions from my head
Oh, I try and try but find myself mislead
I need Your hand to clear this road
I know I cannot bear this load

I run until I run right out of breath
And only a fool would run from what he knows is best
Without Your hand to guide I know
There’s loneliness there’s never growth
But still I try, I fail all on my own
But through it all

You’re loving me
You’re grace is so amazing
You’re loving me

So open up any door for me
And watch me walk again
I give up all fear and reluctance to depend
And when I fall down, Your rules they never bend
You pick me up anyway

Cause You're loving me
You're grace is so amazing
You're loving me

dearest blog

oh how i long to write to you tonight.

yet time will not permit.

or perhaps it's just my weary eyes.

i'm tired. in every sense of the word.







.LIFE is beautiful.

11.16.07

Here I am again.
In this same bitter fight.
I’m always in.

Home.
They say it’s where the heart is.
But I feel like my heart is somewhere else tonight.

I love home.
It’s just when I’m here…
I think of all the things that WERE.
All the things that ARE.
And all the things that COULD have been.

I couldn’t have fought any harder.
I have no regrets.
Sometimes I hang on too tightly.
Sometimes I give in too easily.
It’s hard to trust.
But it’s harder to lose.

The pain rushes in after a while.
Like an eager sweeping tide.
Drowning me over and over.

My broken heart breaks a little more.
Maybe just over again in a different way.
Even when I try to ignore it.

I’m not as strong as you think.
And it’s not fair.
Because you know that I change.
To be who you want me to be.

It’s weird that things turned out the way they did.
I know it’s for a good reason.
And it’s been a long time.

But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
And it certainly doesn’t make it right.
All the time spent.

And all the tears.
After all of the laughter.
The silence.
The summer sun.
And the beat of our racing hearts.

Life changes so quickly.
Times change.
But people don’t.

Maybe I’m the one doing all of the changing.
But it seems that no matter what happens.
You always come back to the same fight.

That once left you wounded.
Cold and standing in the rain.
Tears pouring down your face.
Waiting for someone to turn around.

But they never do.
You keep breathing.
Keep moving forward.

But every once in a while.
You glance over your shoulder.
And reminisce on what was.

With a little tear.
And a little smile.
That’s what I did tonight.
I won’t forget.
I can’t.
Forget.


Love.

Life.

A little of both.





I have listened to the song “cannonball” by Damien Rice at least a MILLION times. I’m in love with it:

“Stones taught me to fly.
Love taught me to cry.
Life taught me to die.
Come on courage.
Teach me to be shy.
I don’t want to lose.
But it’s not hard to fall.
When you float.
Like a cannonball.”

how can i repay the blessings You have poured out?

i want to give what little i have away. all of it.

move to another country. start an orphanage.

hold sick babies and crying mothers in my arms.

my heart breaks.

it breaks & tears fall from my eyes.

i'm so tired of being here.

it seems impossible.

that's how i know it's God.

for the brokenhearted

i just found this saved on my computer & Jesus made me smile.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006 i wrote:

Wow. That's all i can say! I'm finally here. At Southeastern. How blessed I am!!! Though I miss the family, I am finally "re-grabbing" the Father's hand. How exciting! I'm finally beginning to feel myself again. God is stirring up my heart & the gifts within my spirit. He's wrapping me in His love. He's dancing & singing over me. I can hear it in the subtle stillness of my heart. My heart is filling with passion. Jesus is rekindling & setting my innermost being ablaze with His FIRE. His heart beats for me & mine for Him. He's calling me His little warrior bride & making me fearless. I am my Beloved's & He is mine! The amount of knowledge that I have gained in only 3 weeks of being here is immense. He's teaching me daily new things. I'm letting go of pride & learning to worship freely. Oh, it feels good to be free! & not care what anyone thinks. And...not to mention the amazing people & leaders here. He's raising me up to lead as well. He's making me victorious & guiding my every step. He watches over me & is CONTINUOUSLY suprising me. He's bringing me into my calling. Beginning to show me my destiny. He's teaching me to serve in absolute humility & abandonment to Himself. To serve Him at any cost. The greater the preparation, the greater the calling!

I'm in love with the King of Kings...the Source of my strength & my Hope.

Here I am Lord send me...the cry of my heart is to be near to You!!!


Psalm 63:1-8

O God, You are my God,

Earnestly I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You,

In a dry & weary land

Where there is no water.


I have seen you in the sanctuary

And beheld Your power & glory.


Because Your love is better than life,

My lips will glorify You.


I will praise You as long as I live,

And in Your name I will lift up my hands.


My soul will be satisfied

As will the richest of foods;

With singing lips my mouth will praise You.


On my bed I remember You;

I think of You through the watches of the night.


Because You are my help,

I sing in the shadow of Your wings.


My soul clings to You;

Your right hand upholds me.

the hope i have

Jesus, let us hear the passion that beats through your heart!!!

"Let the little children come to me, & do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." -Matthew 19:14


http://livedigital.com/content/52110






How could I find the words to say

To express my love for You?

For all that You are

And all that You've done

When none can compare

To the beauty of Your name



Jesus

What can I do

For the One who gave it all?



To You, I give my life

And all that is within me

I will praise Your name forever

My soul delights in You

For You alone can satisfy



<3 me

shimmering eyes

you know those people that have kind eyes? i mean those people that you look at & you feel like you are home. like you are taking the 1st breath you've ever taken in your entire life. those people with a smile that makes you go weak at the knees. and your heart stops beating but you somehow manage to say alive. like their voice calms something in your heart that beats so fast and for once you feel at rest. of course....everything that comes out of my mouth is somewhat of a stutter or ramble. then i wanna kick myself in the shin. haha. it's so embarrassing.


but you know what i'm talking about? i love people like that. i guess i should say BOYS like that. ha. girls never make me go weak at the knees, but i figured you knew what i was talking about. :) those boys where there's just something charming & enchanting behind those eyes & smile. it really doesn't happen that often for me. i'm really picky when it comes to things like that, but every once in a while...there's that boy where i'm like....wow. & my breath catches in my chest.

i have no idea why i am saying all this. i guess because...someone in particular was coming to mind, but no one particular if you know what i mean. me & mom always joke about that line in that movie. she always tells me, "you never know when lightning's gonna strike." haha. it's so true though.


sometimes i miss the inevitable "him" so much that it hurts to breath. but i give it to God every day. i refuse to do anything out of my own strength, but i'm letting God write my story. i'm just watching & waiting for him.

i'm waiting for the day i catch YOUR eye.


someday my prince will come. no worries.

Oh

God is so......

i don't even know what to say.

He is....

my Everything.



the reason i breathe.

live.
love.
laugh.




there is no greater LOVE.




JESUS, my heart beats only for You!

i like this

A Franciscan Benediction :



May God bless you with discomfort

At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships

So that you may live deep within your heart


May God bless you with anger

At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,

So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.


May God bless you with tears

To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,

So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and

To turn their pain into joy.


And may God bless you with enough foolishness

To believe that you can make a difference in the world,

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done

To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.



Amen

things...

are never as they seem.

marilyn monroe

said this:

"a wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesnt believe, and leaves before she is left."



i would have said....

a wise girl doesn't kiss instead loves, listens AND believes, and stays behind to finish the job even when she is left alone.



hmmm...what do you think?

what is a life without love and faith anyways? none at all.
and if you're always escaping how can you truly love?


just what i was thinking.


sounds like she had a problem trusting people.

understandable.

break my heart for what breaks Yours...

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire,
Let me not sink to be a clod,
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.
--Amy Carmichael

Our Heart...His Glory

♥ In this world so cold

But You're love keeps me warm

My Father holds me in His nail scarred hands
In which I put there
But for some reason
He still loves me with all of His heart ♥ -underoath

paper

“Whatever I can imagine, I can accomplish. I am no longer a vassal in a faceless bureaucracy. I am an activist, not a drone…I am a revolutionary.” -Gary Hamel's book Leading the Revolution


*here is the last paper i wrote in my missionary life & work class...with a few minor changes & reordering to help the reading go easier for you who probably hasn't read this book called The Shaping of Things to Come...


what do you think??? :) ok ok. at least read the last paragraph. sheesh.*


♥

In order to reach people, we have to live where they live and hang out in the places where they hang out. For so long the Western church as made church an “attraction.” Instead of trying so hard to draw people into our church, we need to go out from the church and show others God’s love. We have made the effort to make everything in church look so appealing to outsiders, but we have taken the wrong approach. We have tried to make our churches look like the world so that the world will accept us, because typically people think that church is boring, and even most believers feel that they are only going to church out of obligation. If we shift our focus to the example that Jesus left for us, we will realize that the church is in desperate need of a revolution.

Building relationships with people and serving others is crucial, and it is the beginning of our Christian mission. Learning to relate to people and caring about what they are interested in will make them pay special attention to us. We can serve others in every capacity, even if it is just walking their dog, watching their children or listening about their difficult day at work. People appreciate someone taking an interest in their lives. Jesus took an interest in the loneliest people and hurting people of His time, especially among the sinners and the sick, who no one else would be around.

We are capable of accomplishing anything for the Kingdom. If we can imagine that the world truly can change and we believe we can accomplish anything, we become a revolutionist instead of a faceless believer that does nothing for the Kingdom. Too often we sit in church on Sunday and go back to our ordinary lives only to return to church again the next Sunday, making no effort to go out from our comfortable lives and make disciples like we have been commanded to do. We take no risks and make no journey. We must realize that we are responsible for this revolution. We must go and gather up people for the harvest.

Jesus is our model for Christian mission. He cares about every little detail of our lives, even in the moments of pain and confusion. Jesus hung out with all kinds of people from all different walks of life. He put no limitations on people as to how worthy or unworthy they were. He simply loved. He took them along with their pain and suffering and loved them. Jesus hung out with people, who according to society and even the modern day church, would be unacceptable to be around. Sometimes I wonder if Jesus walked into our churches today, if we would even recognize Him as Jesus, and if we would condemn Him for hanging out with “the wrong crowd”. As we learn to love unconditionally as Jesus did, people will begin to come into the Kingdom, because they will see the love of the Father inside of us. Our abandonment to Jesus Christ and our service to others is what will make the greatest difference.

Mission is what defines us as Christians. Mission is our purpose and our calling in life. We are called to live a life of love and service as our Father did. It is time for us to take the dream that God has given us and run with it and proclaim His name to the nations. When we get our minds off of the familiar and comfortable, we will begin to see a change. When we take courageous risks and commit our lives fully to the cause of Christ will there come about a revolution like this world has never seen.

We must revolutionize our thinking and our actions if we want to make a difference in our world. We must go where no one else is willing to go and stretch ourselves farther than we ever have before. We must learn to think “outside of the box”. This is a phrase that we hear often, but rarely grasp the importance. Christians have been putting God in a box for far too long. It is time for this generation to rise up and let God have supreme control and authority over our lives. We must learn to love like Jesus does and let our creativity and imagination spark new and fresh ideas for bringing people into the Kingdom. We must forget the lowly thinking we have of God’s power and let His Spirit whisper in our ears the direction in which He would have us go. It is time for us to pick up our cross and truly follow after Him. In order to bring people into His Kingdom, we must be willing to sacrifice all that we have and all that we are, chasing after one goal: the Father’s heart. We must align our heart with the Fathers. After all, if we can’t hear His heartbeat, how can we change the heart of people and the heart of nations?

♥



“We must not be afraid to be unpopular, to be seen as revolutionaries…The real revolutionary perhaps the only one, is the person who has nothing left to lose." -Frost & Hirsch's book The Shaping of Things to Come

sun

yesterday, the sunset was beautiful. it always is here. i love looking at it especially while running around the lake. God told me He rose the sun for me yesterday. He rises & sets the sun every day for me...but you know...we just had a special little sunset thing together yesterday.

i'm His little sunshine. :) He thinks i'm so cute. haha. i love Him.

so this was my song yesterday...

Did You rise the sun for me
Or paint a million stars that I might
Know Your majesty
Is Your voice upon the wind
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints
Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You
'Cause all You are, is all I want, always
Draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You
Can I feel You in the rain
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one name -hillsongunited

listen

i'm learning to be still.

who would have ever thought that would be difficult?

i'm learning to just be me & listen.

shhh......listen.

can you hear the Father's heartbeat?

can you hear the heartbeat of the nations?

can you hear my heartbeat?

sometimes you just gotta listen & be.

there's definitely a time to be loud, crazy & obnoxious like i tend to be a lot of the time.

but i'm just sitting, watching & waiting for now.

as hard as it is, i'm learning much.

to fight or not to fight?

where do you draw the line between fighting for something that you want & letting God be in control of it. i mean it probably wouldn't make sense unless i explained the situation & i'm not going to, but....

i don't want to sit back & let it pass me by if it's something worth fighting for, but at the same time if it's out of my hands, i don't want to push anything outside of the will of God. But again I don't want to sit by & lose it. I know God knows. If it's meant to be.....

let the chips fall where they may. it just seems like there's always something in my way.

it's just about to break.

i'm sure i need to shift my focus as usual. this goes for more than one area of my life. i'm too much of a lover & a fighter to not to think about it. i need more confidence. but i'm not setting myself up for disappointed again. man. i HATE doing what everyone else is doing. i have like CONFORM-A-PHOBIA.

if i wasn't so afraid of falling i'd jump.

blessed be Your name

this something i wrote a while back obviously. you'll see as you read :)



I guess today I'm thinking as usual & I guess that's usually what happens when you get any tragic news. That news that no one ever wants to hear. I've been wanting to write for so long, but the busyness often makes it difficult. After all that has happened this year, I'm kind of at a loss for words. So many great things have come out of this year & at the same time this year has been a huge struggle for everyone. The miracle in Tim Poole's life was…completely & utterly from the hand of God. I am amazed to say the least. God is so great! He is so great that & I am so not worthy of His love, but I am entirely lost without it. The whole Virginia Tech deal was the huge news for this year. Shocking…..& painful. And the death of a dear brother Josh Stacy yesterday was……..well, there's absolutely no words for it. It's weird that I just saw him leading worship last week & this week he's gone. It's unbelievably painful to say the least. I can't even begin to express the sadness of his family, his friends & my university today, but at the same time the unbelievable JOY that we feel for him. I always get this way when someone who is so young & so close is taken away. The last time I remember feeling like this was when Stan White died a little over a year ago. I think back on the ones that we've "lost"…..for lack of a better word. I guess I shouldn't say lost because in all reality, they've been found. They have been found by the Creator of the Universe! We take it sooo lightly when we say things like that, but if we only knew what we were saying! I really am so excited. Of course it's a little easier for me to say when it's not my own family member, but….at the same time….my heart is jealous that they made it HOME sooner than me! My flesh wants to say "God, why is it that only the good die young? Why is it that the ones who love You & the ones who have so much passion & life inside of them are always the ones that are taken first?" Of course I have no answer to questions like these because I'm not God. All I know is that He IS God. I think that the one resounding lesson for this year is……



The Lord gives & He takes away. But my heart will CHOOSE to say:

BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.



I keep hearing it resound in my spirit over & over again. I just pray that we will never take one single breath for granted. That every day when we wake up we thank God in heaven for breathing His life into us. I wish as young adults, we would stop acting like we are invincible. We don't realize that value of our life & how quickly it can be over. I'm not ending this on a bad note by any means. I'm simply saying that we are here for one purpose & one purpose only. To worship the King of Kings & to tell the world that He lives! I am so so so excited. Why are we always so afraid of the unknown? For once I just want to jump off of the edge & let the Father's arms catch me. To plunge into the deep & not be afraid. We, as children of the Almighty God, have a hope that no one else has. We know that there is more to this life than being alive. (oh my…am I'm quoting Anberlin) But we really do. And we know that this life is only temporary, but our life with Jesus is everlasting. If we could see Josh right now…I wonder what He'd tell us. The point is…that this is not Josh's end. It's his beginning of forever! He caught only a glimpse of this life. And now he is forever resting in Daddy's arms. He will be missed by many, but the legacy of his life….will resonate in our hearts forever. & to everyone else i would say.....







When you pray, pray with power
When you worship, worship with passion
When you love, love deeply
When you dream, dream big




* To all the ones who have made it Home before us……tell Dad to come soon!!!*



<3 me

coffee

i am so tired. i mean really tired.

i wish i had starbucks right now.

as a side note: boys are weird.

giving it up

i'm putting my life in God's hands.

not that it wasn't before. but i'm not planning ahead anymore, because it NEVER works out like i planned it to. it cracks me up how i can have everything planned out in my head. i end up like a deer in headlights every time. not a pretty picture. that's what i get for trying to do things on my own.

i seriously give up. haha. givin it all up for God.
it's about time steph. thank you.



God orchestrate my life
Equip my feet to run
Captivate my heart to love
Give me wings to fly
Rend my spirit to adore
May Your praise be continually on my lips
Forever.

pictures

i have an unbelievable festish for certain things. and if you haven't noticed yet, pictures is one of them. specifically pictures of people. i love people. i save millions upon millions of pictures. surprisingly the dell hasn't blown up yet. i'm trying my hardest not to make it a habit to only leave pictures & not write, but i've been incredibly busy lately so i fear that this is all i have for you now. but someone who must have been very smart said that "a picture is worth a thousand words..." what do you think??? :)

wow. this one is one of my favorites. one of my favorites to sing. if i ever make an album....i'm singing this one on it.

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns

His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

sorry about this one

this is the most completely random & unintellectual post i hope i'll ever write.






international guys are so cute. i'm telling you....


international is the way to go.

apples

a mothers prayer

a dear friend died this morning.

my thoughts are still a little scattered but i'll do the best i can.

when i grow up i hope that i'm half the woman my mother is. i don't really have the time to explain the "ins & outs" of this death, but my mother is the most compassionate & strongest woman in the entire world. this old man was my mothers best friend & she was probably the only source of Jesus' love he had ever really seen. it was hard to see him go, because he was like another grandfather to me, but it would be harder seeing him suffer. mom always talked to him about Jesus. i will never forget.

my mother has the most audacity of anyone i've ever known. i'm convinced that if it weren't for our mother's prayer, the world would cease to exist. my world would cease to exist anyways.

she has above all else taught me to unselfishly love no matter what the cost.

missions

i want to be a missionary. i want to have millions of children & an orphanage in every country in the world. forget the pressure & what the world says is success.

this is my heart.






there's so many places i want to go. so many things i want to do. so many things to see.




and so many people to love. ♥

australia

i wish i was there now. i wish i was there yesterday. i wish i was there tomorrow.


my heart beats for australia & i've never even been there. my heart beats for so many things, but i've had a heart for australia since i was 12. talk about God building up the suspense. sheesh. some days i feel like packing & getting on the next plane, but i know i have to wait. God's so crazy. i love him. someone prophecied to my sister that i was going there & i wasn't even there. waaaaaaaaaahhh! i wanna go.

i'm going soon enough. i love australia.




on a completely other note. i miss my piano....super bad.




i completely wasn't even going to tell you this, but if you really want to see a beautiful heart, read stephen christians blog. he's one of my personal heroes in life.

& now that the cat is out of the bag...i know you'll read his & not mine because he's amazing. haha. it kept me busy all summer & i want to read everything again. but...from one revolutionist to another, i feel that i have an obligation to him...not to mention i frequently steal things from his blogs & am feeling a little guilty about it now :) i wish i could sit down & have a cup of coffee with him. he completely blows my mind. anyways...try it out. i think you'll be blessed. life is all about perspective. he's one of the most influential people i've ever "not met." so cool. here's his link::: http://modesty.blogspot.com

modesty. how appropriate. i love it.


♥ ♥ ♥

now i'm leaving you with something that God gave me a while back:


Close your eyes Love
Take my hand
And hold on tight
Everything will be alright
Soon the Light is coming
I know it's hard for you to see
The pain you feel is so real
As your heart starts beating
At the speed of light
You feel it pounding in your chest
As you bein to lose your breath
You wonder if there is hope
I'm here to tell you there is
Don't give up or let go
Don't give in
You're not alone
I'm right here
Waiting to catch you

beginnings

oh how i wish that i had a beautiful beginning for you. i always have the worst trouble with beginnings. i've written here multiple times but for some reason i get in this strange habit of deleting it a few weeks later. i'll try my best not to do that this time so that hopefully you get something out of it & well...i will forever get to look back & see the goodness of God & the journey of where life takes me. i only wish that i would have began this sooner. with that said...my goal here is to be completely honest with you. maybe you will be able to relate to some of the pains i go through, some of the joys i go through and some of the absolute silent times i go through. with all of this that i write...be careful not to get the impression that i'm someone i'm not. if you really want to know who i am...sit down with me & listen to my heart. let my life & light be an example of who i am in Jesus Christ.




i'm so excited about this. that no one else i know has a blogspot. the whole "fad" thing really can hurt a persons creativity. anyways hopefully it'll stay that way. so sit back, relax & read.




beginnings. they really are beautiful.


tonight is one of those nights honestly where i wish i had my "sweetheart" so that he & i could just take a little evening walk together to talk about the things of God, the things on our hearts & the day to day complexities that we go through. i've been thinking about him a lot lately. i'm convinced that God will bring him to me when it's time. but my dreaming heart is always dreaming of that day. sometimes i think i see him in the faintest glimpse coming around the corner. but this really isn't going to be about dearest Love tonight.




this is about beginnings. the beginning of something great. i can hear the reverberating sounds of a revolution coming. i'm on the verge of something great.