this morning with the most unpleasant sense of loneliness.
i feel as though i'm a walking contradiction. i love to be alone.
my independence & unwillingness to sometimes let other people help
me i sometimes scary. yet...i find myself the majority of the time
completely alone. not on account of my "unsociality." i can honestly
say that. perhaps i am not the most outgoing person, but i will go
anywhere & everywhere with just about anyone. i just find it particularly
odd that i haven't even found one person that hasn't...well...let me down.
i mean people letting you down is inevitable. but maybe the better term
is...walked out on me when i needed them most. this seems to happen quite
frequently in my life & i have no idea why. which makes me unbelievably
guarded & reluctant to share my heart with anyone. i didn't mean for this post to
be a pity party for me. just sending a cosmic question into the void. i wish
there was just one person that i could trust. one person that could share my
heart with. without any fear or worry that the next day they would be gone.
jesus jesus...he's my man.
ok...i meant to say one earthly person. haha.
that would be nice.
not the greatest way to start off my day
nonetheless...
jesus...is my strength when i have none.
♥
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