found this

♥


So I feel like writing. What's new? I always do, but sadly I rarely get around to it. Due to popular demand, I should more often. Personally I guess I'm a little hard on myself, but if everyone else thinks I'm an intriguing writer…who am I to argue right? Haha. Just kidding. But to all my fans who at least tell me that I inspire them, I love you forever. Thanks again for the kind words.


I love writing. I wish that I had time for it more. I think it's the only way to say what's on my heart without it actually stuttering out of my mouth when I'm trying to speak it. Words always get so tangled up in my mouth, but if it comes straight from my heart, I'm usually doing ok. I used to be such a songwriter & now I miss that. I mean I still am, but I just need to gather up the time.


I've been thinking a lot lately. Well, I always think a lot, but I really have been a lot about everything. About My life. My love. My dreams. You know, the same stuff that everyone thinks about I guess. Maybe it's cause I'm in college & suddenly I realize that my future is approaching so quickly.


You know those times in your life where you're like…am I doing the right thing? I mean in making life decisions. Like…what in the world is God calling me to? What if I mess up somewhere along the way? That is going no where. I just wondered if you have ever thought about it. I have.


On another note, if there's one thing I've learned, it's….life is all about waiting for God's timing. I guess everyone always wants immediate answers, but they practically never come like that.

Waiting is hard. Probably one of the hardest things ever. I mean sometimes I wonder…


Why can't God just be like……..Steph, go do this. And I be like….Yay God! Ha. Do you ever wonder what it would be like if God worked that way? I guess that would totally defeat the purpose of His blessing if we didn't wait.


It's such a good thing He doesn't do things my way.

I'm so inadequate.


Anyways. My dreams. I have so many of them. I don't know which one to shoot for. Maybe all of them? In my case…this would be a little difficult. I can't even count all of them. There's so many different sides to myself that sometimes it freaks myself out. There's so much I want to do & I feel like the world is at my fingertips. I'm such a dreamer. Haha. I never even tell anyone hardly what all of my dreams are. Probably because I can never remember all of them.


And of course I have been thinking about my love. Yeah that's usual and yeah I'm about to get mushy. I wonder where he is. Of course being the girl that I am, I can't help myself. I keep picturing us catching eyes one day & knowing right then & there that we are going to forever be together. Of course…the light from the heavens is shining down from the sky & there's a gleam in my eye. Hahahaha. I'm such a romantic. Shut up. I really can't help it. Still young. And still waiting for God's best. No intention of giving up. I've waited to long & too hard for that. People say that it can't be done, but I'll prove them wrong.


Oh…I have such a heart for people. I'm not sure why. I mean, I know why, but you know what I mean. I was so sad today. You wanna know what I was upset about? I was upset that not everyone knows Jesus. Yeah…I know. How kindergarden-ish does that sound? But seriously I was saddened by it. I wish that everyone knew the Jesus that I do. I so wish! I have a heart for so much stuff that I'm not sure what to do. Or can all of it be done?


Anyways. As usual I don't know where this is going. And as usual….it's so long. I write no other way but long. Well, unless I'm songwriting of

course.


I don't know. Between the feeling of inadequacy, pain, weariness & confusion…I've found joy.


Not everything in life makes sense. In fact nothing in my life really ever does, but I'm not worried.



♥
this is something i wrote a while back
for the brokenhearted:



Close your eyes love

Take my hand

And hold on tight

Everything will be alright

Soon the light is coming

I know it's hard for you to see

The pain you feel is so real

As your heart starts beating

At the speed of light

You feel it pounding in your chest

As you begin to lose your breath

You wonder if there is hope

I'm here to tell you there is

Don't give up or let go

Don't give in

You're not alone

I'm right here

Waiting to catch you





.cheers.