this song

all day long.

walls to climb

yesterday did not blow over so well. i mean honestly this semester has been aweful so far. the beginning started out decent. well...the social aspect of college started out well. actually a little too well. :) but between the busyness of classes & the studying, i barely have time to think for myself. my course load this semester would make any normal person go insane. lucky for me, i'm not a normal person. yet i still feel the intensity that i may be slowly drowning. i'm am in a constant state of schoolwork, or else taking a small break only to think about the fact that i need to do more. it's exhausting. i've almost reached the halfway mark. typically it gets a little more difficult from here which concerns me. my social life has virtually ceased to exist. though i can not set myself up for failure, i feel like i now realize the implications of failure. i have had to deal with plenty of that in my life. not a ton, but just enough to make me realize that failure doesn't mean it's over. it only means there might be a little more set backs than planned. all it means is that you get up & try again.

with that said...it's almost october. unbelieveable. 2 1/2 more months until i start this process over. hopefully in a little different scenario in which i'm in now. one that i am unable to share with you now, but soon.

christmastime. i will spend the next few months waiting for christmastime...


♥
.cheers.



learn persistence when your young.
it's the only thing to keep you moving in a forward direction.

isn't it ironic

life.




will i always want what i can't have?




*you taking me by the hand
didn't exactly help this situation
but it did make my knees weak
& i smile every time i think of you*

.college.

i would dare say it is one of the hardest times in your life.
you're on your own.
freedom.

you have so many decisons to make.
life altering decisions.
decisions that make you become.
exactly who it is that you are becoming.

it's when you finally decide what you truly believe in.
what you think is important.
it's when you no longer need anyone else's opinion.
because you live your life for what you decide
it's worth living for.

it's when you decide to chuck those morals out the window.
that you've been taught you're whole life.
or else you cling on to them for dear life.
praying you will be able to keep them in your heart.

there are so many decisions to be made. important ones.
these seem like little issues, but amazing how one wrong
decision could influence the rest of your life.

talk about pressure!!!


is it the difference in one beer? or four?
in jumping into that boys truck? or not?
studying for the big exam or "wing it"?
cigarettes? or none?



what will you choose?
who will you become?

chai tea latte's: a matter of life or death

2nd post today. i know. impressive right? :)


tonight i ate dinner alone on a bench by a beautiful fountain.
the sun was just setting.
with the wind slightly blowing in my hair.
i can catch a glimpse of Him everywhere.
at least i can when i pay attention.
i only wish i paid attention more often.
i'm working on it though.
He keeps whispering His love in the most unlikely places.



then i went to starbucks (a rarity in my life unfortunately).
unfortunate only because chai tea latte's are right up there on the
list with bare feet & walking around naked.
both of which i am unashamed to say i love TREMENDOUSLY.



there are so many things i want to say, but the words never come out right.
i'll be back when i find some words.

♥

.love.

all you need is love. (and Jesus)

♥

i don't judge anybody.
i mean it.
nothing is ever as it seems.
the longer you're around,
the more you realize it.
just don't do it.
it hinders your witness.
turns your attitude sour.
nothing good ever comes out of it.
not to say to use your bad judgment
and do something stupid.
but i think you know what i'm getting at.

maybe i really am just the good ol' hippie i always knew i was.
believing that love is always the answer.

the beatles were right:




"all you need is love."



well...you know.
we need Jesus too.
but without His love...

i can't imagine.



love this one:

blah

people.
i love them.
you know that by now.
if you know me at all.
if there's one thing that rips.
my heart into shreds.
it's for me to watch someone.
throw their life away.

i'm disappointed.
a little hurt.
i'm not sure why.
because i've known it all along.

angry....yes.

a righteous anger though.
an anger for the things of God & not the things of this world.

Jesus.
i just want to stand in a field & scream His name.
to save us from all of this hell that is so easily mistaken
for something worth saving.

i completely don't understand this situation.
and i know this post doesn't make sense.
my sincere apologies.
i'll put it in the hands of the Father.

Jesus save us.
open our eyes.
to the things that are REAL.
to You Jesus.

i can cry out for souls all day long.
but You're the only One that can save.

please God.
save this one.
please.

for you

every song reminds me of
the first time we danced
you smiling at me from across the room
awakening me to breath you in
your arm around my waist
so charming yet unsure
your beautiful eyes gazing in my direction
and your sweet voice in my ear

i won't forget
that summer night air
walking barefoot
in the pale moonlight
by your side
so intoxicating
so refreshing

now all that's left is a memory of us
a memory that only keeps me
hoping, wishing, dreaming

and i can't wait to see you again

♥