1 a.m.

June 4th, 2009



For a while I felt a little conceited that all I do on my blog is talk about me. Then I realized that it was, in fact, MY blog. I think I’m allowed to do that. I do most of my thinking at night. When I am warm & cozy in my bed, I grab the dear ol’ laptop…& type type type away.

I am in my warm, cozy bed right now. A bug just landed on my face. I swatted it, & it is probably now lying next to me. Nonetheless, I’m trying not to think about it as I am typing away. Trying to decide what I want to talk about seeing as there are always 200 million things running through this head of mine. Here I am….probably should be sleeping as I have an eventful weekend coming up. Sleep is one of my most favorite things in the world. Although I enjoy the hustle & bustle of life…what I love the most is when the world becomes still. Even if for just a moment. I love putting each day behind me & waking up to a fresh start. Putting all the mistakes for the day away. And reaching for a way tomorrow to not repeat them. Looking for new opportunities. New people to meet. New adventures before my fingertips.

Anyways…I am listening to one of my favorite songs. By Julie Roberts…not to be confused with the actress. :) at any rate it is called “rain on a tin roof.” I relate to people through song. Most of my friends have “a song.” One particular song that reminds me of them, especially when I am absent from them. Often I let them choose it. Then there are some other poor souls that have no say & I give them a ridiculous one. Either way, many times, my observance of people simple makes me choose a certain song for them. So perhaps we are not even friends. Maybe mere acquaintances. Perhaps someone I would smile at in the elevator. And some are lucky to get more than one.

So I’m listening to Julie Roberts. I have found a song for you. Finally. I generally don’t have a hard time pinpointing songs for people nor do I try to make it a habit to blog about such ramblings. But this is a special case. One who’s eyes I won’t soon forget. Occasionally I meet people who make an unintentional impact on my life. It’s really almost amazing. They are the ones that are in & out of my life in a flash. It is these people that I have a hard time letting go of. The ability of those that can still pierce my heart that way reminds me that perhaps I am not as guarded as I make myself out to be. That I am still capable of allowing someone to love me without fear of losing.

I can’t say much more than this. I must leave you to the wondering. & me to the remembering. To the wishing things were different & wishing you were here, but knowing the importance of letting life simply happen with deliberate timing.

I am infamous for ‘jumping the gun’ in situations such as these. My instinct is to let things be known as I always do. Having a freedom, vulnerability & ensuring a lack of regret. Yet for some reason, this is a little different. It is an intrinsic ‘holding back’ that I am choosing this time, not due to fear, but instead simply allowing destiny to run its course. This must be a sign that I am growing up. As difficult as it is…maybe I am finally starting to realize the importance of waiting. Of sitting back & realizing that love will find its way to me & that I don’t have to go searching for it.

Well…here it is. “Rain on a Tin Roof”. For you.

My dearest you.
The inimitable, irreplaceable YOU:



His eyes are blue just like the ocean
His heart is a river free
Now & then he gets the notion
And he finds his way to me.

His loves like
Rain on a tin roof
Sweet song of a summer time storm
And oh the way that it moves you
It’s a melody of passion raging on
And then it’s gone.

He tells me he’ll be back to see me
Every time he has to go
I keep wondering just when that’ll be
Cause with him you never know.

His love’s like
Rain on a tin roof
Sweet song of a summer time storm
And oh the way that it moves you
It’s a melody of passion raging on
And then it’s gone.

And just like a thirsty field
I can’t complain a bit
Cause I’m thankful for every sing drop I get.

His love’s like
Rain on a tin roof
Sweet song of a summer time storm
And oh the way that it moves you
It’s a melody of passion raging on
And then it’s gone.


Here’s to difficult choices. To wondering what could have been. But having enough hope to press on. To waiting tirelessly.

To loving inadvertently with both eyes closed in complete trust & vulnerability.


.cheers.