If we get out alive
I’d like to say how beautiful I think you are–the starting line
♥
It was frightening today how much I was reminded of my senior year in high school. Tonight so many things reminded me of it & I have a feeling that this isn’t the end of it. It was as if I was having tiny flashbacks from the past. This happens every once in a while. Mostly just when I’m home & have time to think about my life. It feels so crazy because it seems like when I go certain places or do certain things, I am reminded of what was & who was with me throughout that year. The things I said. The things you said. All of the people that I held on to through those rainy nights. I think I’ve talked about this before. But…it was the best & the worst time of my life all put together in one large clump. As I was sitting there, I was thinking about some of the insane things I did & some of the amazing things that God did. I thought about volleyball & just friendships in general. I can honestly say at that time in my life, I had no doubt that people had my back. I could not have asked for a better year. I think that I had just about everything in my life that I’ll ever need. It was so far the best year of my life. Everything that I ever needed was right in front of me.
Love.
Laughter.
For a split second I think that I knew what breathing was. I felt so real. So happy. So….me. For once in my life. I miss that feeling. Sometimes I still find myself trying to stand on my feet again. It’s tough. I doubt that things will ever be like they were then. Most of the time I find myself still dreaming about it & I’ve held on to way more than I ever should have. But that’s me. Lover. Fighter. It’s in my blood. My heart still skips when I think about that year. I breathe my sighs of satisfaction. Of dissatisfaction. Of hope. Things are different, but kind of the same. I guess we’ve all changed, but the feelings that once shook me from my bitter cynicism still shake me well...you know. But I enjoyed my little blast from the past.
I wrote a lot during that time in my life. A whole lot.
I’m writing this for you, my Love
Your hands around my waist
My arms around your neck
Your face against mine
It was so perfect
I saw that look in your eyes
I knew exactly what you were thinking
You kissed my head gently
Sweetly whispered goodnight
I smiled & whispered back
And without hesitation
“I love you” came from your lips
I closed my eyes
Hoped the night would never end
And for what seemed like hours yet seconds
I felt my heart beating for the first time
For once in my life I knew what breathing felt like
I breathed in your sweet scent
You held me in your strong arms
Caressed my hair & held me tight
My lips at your fingertips
And my head against your chest
I could hear your heartbeat in rhythm with mine
The night called us home
You took my hand in yours
And sweetly promised tomorrow
I would not sleep
In fear that this was all a dream
But I woke up the next morning
Only to find you
Still holding me
.love.
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