oh boy

slept with a smile on my face last night. still unrecovered. but i love the chaos. the unanswered questions. love life.

rain

it rains in florida every day. i love rain...

i'm gonna be one of those old folk out on the front porch in my rocking chair watching the rain pour down. i already do that. rain is so refreshing.

*************************************************************************

there's so many things to learn in life. life lessons...if you wish to call them. all of life is one huge learning journey.

recently i have learned that there is nothing more beautiful about you than simply being you.

as hard as it is sometimes, it brings the most freedom. living up to people's grandeur expectations of who they think you are or who you wish to be is exhausting.

so for words of wisdom from me:

wear your sweatpants
take off that make up

and let YOU shine a little.

♥

.cheers.

to speak or not to speak

this is the 1st time in a while i'm actually scared to death to say what i'm thinking. yeah i don't usually have this problem. i haven't wanted anything this much since i got my first easy bake oven. and do i only want this because i can't have it?

should i take this risk?

no?

every time i do this...i end up doing it. it's just who i am. i'd rather take the risk than not take it & wonder what would have happened had i taken it.

today

was amazing :)

end of story

♥

you expect me to sleep after all of that? i think not...

do you ever feel

like you're defeated before you even begin?


i know. i know...
the negative posts lately.
are you starting to get tired of them?
trust me, i'm tired too.
the past few months have been treacherous.


i was actually hoping that starting classes today would remedy things a little.
but boy was i wrong...


i feel like i've fallen before i've even taken my 1st step.
like i've almost reached the top of a mountain only to tumble to the bottom again.
and to top it off...i'm about as homesick as crap (however homesick crap gets...i have no clue).

and i swear...
i'm not usually like this.


this is the biggest fight i've ever had to put up with.
i've never been so discouraged in my entire life.
i want to give up.
but i can't.
i'm too stubborn.
to ever quit.


on the verge of a constant stream of tears.
and a broken heart.


with only One who could ever piece it all back together.

my song (this one really is it)

It's just a sad picture,
The final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history, and your getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah
Oh

So you've been outnumbered
Raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now
From things they never found
They might be bigger, but we're faster and never scared
You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes, says we can beat this

These things will change
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah
Oh

Tonight we're standing on our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
The battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?
It was the night things changed
Can you see it now?
When the walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, cause we never gave in
We'll sing halleluiah
We'll sing halleluiah
Hallelujah


listen here:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XCMN2C5DCA

friends

*i am so incredibly thankful for friends. those friends that have stood by me through thick & thin. through unexpected & suspected. especially the ones that have been by my side over the past few months. those that have held me through the tears & laughed with me in the rain. i really can not express to you how much i love them. for their courage & strength when i have trouble finding mine. a few stick out in my mind & without those few...i would have not made it this far. so today i'm sending this little "thank you" into the void. every day i wake up is another day to express truly how grateful i am for those who have lived their life as a part of mine. and i intend on living my life as a part of theirs as well.*

i saw rascal flatts & taylor swift on friday night with mom & sis. what a great time! probably the best concert i've ever seen. thank God i'm a country girl. i can't have it any other way.

last night i saw journey & heart. and yet another great time with a dear friend. i love that kind of music. that's when music was truly good. not that it's not good now, but there's something about the 80's. maybe it's because i was born then? who knows...at any rate, it's always fun to pull out my cigarette lighter & wave it in the air. although i don't smoke, i find it profoundly & absurdly comforting to carry a cigarette lighter in my purse everywhere i go.

it was nice to let go & just dance this weekend.

i believe i have 11 days left at home sweet home. then back to sunny florida. where God rises & sets the sun every day for me. it will be hard, yet somewhat refreshing. and in the words of cartel..."i'll give up any home just to find my dream & it's weighing on me."

♥

You say good-bye
Every day and night
With writing on the walls
Everybody's gonna need somebody
To take our troubles, and our worries, and our problems all away
-augustana