5.24.11

I have never resented the gift I have to feel more deeply than the average human being. Oddly enough I recognized this in myself early on. It has given me a great sense of compassion and fulfillment in my 24 years of life. It’s given me a heart for people & an ability to see in them things that no one else can see. I will never regret loving with my entire being. But even with gifts, there can also become downsides to them. When my heart breaks, it shatters into a million tiny pieces which almost seem to me to be virtually unbearable, but with every heart break I become stronger. And maybe on the flip side even a little more cynical. The fear of losing has never stopped me from loving with every integral of my soul. For I have truly learned that it is better to have loved & lost than to have never have loved at all. Yes, I’ve made mistakes…plenty of them, but I’ve learned that not taking a chance on love is foolish. After all, if you do indeed “lose,” not all is lost. Learning to risk looking like a fool for love is the only way to live. We only live once. Only get one shot. For me, I will not live it closed off, guarded & afraid. I will love deeply. I will take my chances. Love hurts like hell sometimes. But what I do know is that running from it hurts worse. Love isn’t all happy & bubbly all the time. Sometimes its scraping through the muck together. It’s not always that euphoric feeling that we always associate with love. Sometimes it feels feelingless or hurts a little, but its in those times that true love takes its shape. It’s birthed from a kind of innocence & honesty that only love can bring about. Love is that sleepless phone call at 3am just to say…I miss you. It’s simple really. I often wonder why everyone makes it so complicated. That’s where I’m at tonight. Sorting through the chaos & rubble of life. Trying to find your heart. Just to tug on its strings a little. Long enough to tell you I love you.

“We’re gonna do what lovers do. We’re gonna have a fight or two. But I aint ever changing my mind. Crazy {boy} don’t you know that I love you. I wouldn’t dream of going nowhere. Silly {boy} come here. let me hold you. Have I told you lately…I love you like crazy {boy}.” –eli young band

So go. Go love. & don’t hold back.

summer love

it's about that time i'd say.



things are changing so fast.
but i'm not afraid.
let's jump together.
no regrets.
no looking back.
i'm strong.
& i'm ready.
to brave the odds.



(whatever will be...will be)





choose love.




Push me in a corner
And I'll come out fighting
I may lose but I 'll always keep my faith -gwyneth paltrow

like a lion

this song is incredible. i love it...daniel bashta is the original writer but kristian stanfill is doing a cover here (above). it has been so amazing to sit under these worship leaders on sunday nights at passion city church. i have so loved it & am completely stoked for the renovation of their new building here in atlanta.

below is daniel...i'm only posting that one to remind me to learn to play it :)




i have been fortunate to be able to catch this incredible man of God a few times playing at riverstone when i'm not at passion city. he's riverstones main worship leader & an incredible worship leader at that! the anointing on his life is...breathtaking truly. i showed up sunday morning a few months ago & sat in the back with one of my best friends. the Lord began speaking to my heart & by the end of it i was in virtual tears...leaned over to my friend & started reverberating these utterances to her. incredible. i'm so thankful for these little moments where the Lord takes me by the hand & speaks to me. despite my stubborn & prodigal heart, He still chases after me...wraps me in His Love.

anyways...


big things are coming.
revolutionary things.


ps. if your in the atl area over easter, make your way out to passion citys good friday service @ verizon wireless amp.

i went last year...so awesome...so awesome.

the apparent selfishness of this generation seems overwhelming at times, but it has truly been a life changing event to worship with thousands of selfless young people who pour out their devotion to the living God..all together on good friday.







it's contagious too.


oh & oh.my.gosh. i can't believe i forgot to mention i saw hillsong united last month.

that's all i really need to say. you can fill in the blanks. all i know is that i need to carry a pen & paper on me at all times.

words can't describe.








love always.

on love & other ramblings

Ah romance! Why cant love be like it was in the days where there were black & white movies? Genuine cary grant style. Where long love letters are written in the finest penmanship & the kisses were long & slow. Chivalry was the norm. Men respected woman. & woman respected their men. Womens bodies were covered & make up didnt destroy the natural beauty of a woman. Men were classy & women were sophisticated. Ankles, wrists & collarbones were sexy. Love was right on time. Slow dancing was out of the innocence of being close to a lovers touch. All starry eyed & lost in your lovers eyes. Audrey hepburns a-cup breasts werent looked down upon nor were marilyn monroes size 12 hips. Coming home to flowers for no occasion. I suppose love can still be like this at times. You know...that purest form of love. But everything I see in magazines & see on tv...reminds me that a love like this is hard to come by. A good ol' old fashioned love. I have been lucky enough to catch glimpses of this in my life. Id say its something worth striving for. It turns out that selfless love is the only love. & as for me...i should strive to love out of the purest form. Not out of my selfish desires but to the consideration of anothers heart. Turns out romance is a fight to hold on to in this sex crazed world. But its something that should never be lost.

i'm dancing to this song at my wedding.

i'm serious.

look, we need to talk

sheesh. things are happening so quickly. february is nearly over...summer is approaching. i'm just going to go ahead & skip right over spring. the weather is starting to get much warmer which makes me undeniably happy. there are a few other things in my life right now which make me undeniably happy too :D

life is so crazy you know? i guess the thing that makes all the difference is how you deal with the craziness & uncertainty. i for one am learning to take it one day at a time. it's a constant battle...but all of life is. it's this never ending cycle of ups & downs.

for me especially in this phase of my life. & in just about every area of life. i've been rediscovering the importance of things in my life & am slowly letting myself go into this free fall.

it feels good. a little scary to be back up there jumping off the edge again, but it's been a rush. the winds been blowing me where ever it wills. & this time i'm going to let it. no matter the risk.





love always.

JM

i feel like i've been slow dancing in a burning room for the past few days. so in honor of that...John Mayer...take me away. i love how i don't write anymore & i just let songs say it for me. i've gotten lazy. it's whatev. it comes in waves.