June. Summer is my favorite. No competition. So many crazy & exciting things are coming up. Florida was a no go. I don’t understand why & I don’t even really want to talk about it anymore. There’s a reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but I’m semi content with this not knowing why. One of my best friends is getting married next week. I’m honored to be the maid of honor. My best friend in the world is getting married in September. I’m also honored to be the maid of honor in that one. She is more my sister. Our families have been friend s for almost 11 years. I am so thankful for that. I spend an unbelievable amount of time with them. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It feels like home to me. & I honestly can’t say that about anyone else. Not even close. That statement is a big deal for me, because I’m not comfortable anywhere.
Then there’s family issues. They never seem to get any better. They only get worse. I don’t know what to say about that other than I’m doing my best to simply make it through. No one knows.
& I guess there’s boys. Ok…I don’t guess. There’s like 100 boys. I don’t even know what to do with all them. They all seem the same to me. Hmmm…what’s a girl to do? Every day it’s all I can do to maintain focus on what’s important in life. & meaningless , insatiable relationships simply are not. I admit, I have been too tolerant. & this tolerance is biting me back right now.
& then there’s you. The you I’m talking about changes constantly. I’ll think it’s you. Then you turns into someone else. Another “you”. & it’s you…that has my head & heart so confused. As time moves on, so do love interests. It’s all a waiting game I suppose. It’s the 50 I turn down daily waiting on that 1. I don’t mean that in a conceited way. At all. But I’m 23 & single. With an entirely too forward personality. What do you expect?
I’m done here. I miss you missing me.
That’s all.
Oh & the only song I’m listening to on repeat right now:
Joshua Radin-Paperweight.
Go listen.
It reminds me of you.
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