so much on my heart. the good. the bad. the inbetween. all of it is unable to fit in this post.
i want Jesus to wreck me.
my friends and i have been having the most interesting conversations lately. like life conversations. meaningful. thought provoking. i love those anyways. my God. i am so appreciative of my friends. without their encouragement, their continuous smiles, i would not be where i am today. many have come & gone. some have stuck around for a while. but the one thing they all have in common is the piece of my heart that i owe to them. the impressions that they have made upon me. the memories that we have shared. for these, i would not trade anything.
graduation. a word that is becoming more real and real in my life. another chapter closed. another goodbye. another goodbye which i am so unready for. i hate hate hate goodbyes. i know that they bring closure. but sometimes i don't want to bring closure. especially to the things that i hold so dear. at times i guess you simply know that it's time, but it tears at my heart. it tears at my heart so much. to have to think of the unknown. i love the adventure. but it's never easy. just about the time i get used to it, it's time to leave. wow. i never thought it would come and go this quickly.
i'll cry. i'm sure of it. i never do. only with goodbyes. there's always an exception. i'm strong. i'll fight it like i always do. sometimes i feel that i'm too brave for my own good. is that possible?
my biggest fear is that i will go back home & forget who i am again. that i will lose sight of what is important. go back to being apathetic. untrusthing. and hurt.
then i snap back to reality, and push myself to this time find happiness in Jesus. in the One who never lets me down.
40 days. and time waits for no one.
so "here comes goodbye."
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