2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

more than a name or face in the crowd

i wish i had some kind of rejuvenating spout of encouragement saying that "it" has finally clicked, but i don't. all i know is that i've decided to forsake all else in order to chase after the heart of God as hard as it may be. i have no idea how it's going to work, but that's just it. i'm not supposed to know. i got some incredibly disappointing news yesterday, which may be followed by more disappointing news on monday, but the truth is...it's all going to be ok & i have to continuously tell myself that. my world is not over...i have not lost everything. i felt like a failure once again, like i wasn't good enough to do this & like i was never going to make it doing this. although i feel that i in one sense "wasted" my entire summer...a few weeks ago i was crying out to God & i told Him that if for nothing else...it was to wear His name boldly on my face. well, i guess that's what i did & hey that's good enough for me. that's all i really want with my life anyways. i don't know, i'm literally scared out of my wits for the first time in my life & i'm not too proud to admit it. at the same time i am so excited for the days to come. for the first time in my life, i'm about to run with nothing holding me back.


i love this song. i know i say that often, but i love music. when it first came out i kinda figured it would be over played, which it still prolly will, but it's how i feel now.

ps. my blog hit over a thousand views. i would get ice cream tonight or something except i think i'm accountable for at least half of those... :)



David Cook Lyrics
The Time Of My Life Lyrics

could this be our last dance...

this is the song that my heart is dancing to right now.

my life is completely
wrecked at this point
and my heart hurts
i don't understand
but maybe it takes
a complete "wrecking"
to fully who you are
to realize you're alive
i'm just ready to be
finished with this season
in my life
things will get easier
i'm certain
it's just a matter of
getting through the next
month.

rain

it's about to thunderstorm. i love those. i really really really want to go stand outside in the rain & let it wash this all away.

but i want to stand in the rain with "you."

i've decided

not to give up just quite yet.
i've got too much to lose.


♥


"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."
-charles swindoll

lost

i hate feeling lost. mixed in the shuffle.
i'm so tired of it. i've never been so
confused & hurt in my entire life.
not to mention i have this constant
headache i can't get rid of. i wonder
why...

i just have no idea.

i am trying hard to cling to the Father.
He is my source of strength & my only hope.


today is the 4th.

i am however proud to be an american. :)


rhianna. she's so beautiful...love this jam.

unintellectual

i just got back from the pat benetar concert.
unbelievable. i love that woman.
i have stuff so say, i just don't feel like
writing at the moment. i'm gonna go dance
around the house to "heartbreaker."
and more importantly...God blessed the
socks off me tonight. we were sitting on
the lawn & some random woman randomly
came up to us & gave us tickets...front &
center. favor of God right there.


.love.